Saturday, July 31, 2010

Virginia, I’ve heard it said it’s the last stop before heaven. I wonder what color heaven would be. Virginia is green, green everywhere, I look over fields of grass into lush forests of hardwoods and pines all surrounded and engulfed in green. They say the heart chakra, is stimulated by green and I believe life gives us exactly what it is we need in every moment. If this is the case at this time in my life I need all this green energy surrounding me. I think I may be learning something about love. The more time I spend with myself by myself the more I get this sense of love all around. To whom is the relationship happening with? Is it I? Is it God? Is it the part of me that is watching the whole show, laughing at the antics, knowing the sweet compassion of my struggles and taking the deep breath of joy when I just relax into a moment? In the moments when I accept the not knowing and let go of the trying to figure it out, there is a point of eternity that it all is just…Is.

There is a sweet gentle rain falling this morning. It touches the poet inside and to honor him I will post a few poems that came through a couple mornings ago.

Sleepy morning eyes

Sleepy morning eyes.

The first cup of tea.

The first light of the day.

Sounds of birds waking, singing their morning songs.

Insects begin to buzz.

Cool air.

Delight in the first sun rays before the rise.

A stillness.

An awakening.


Life still

at rest.

Feeling Morning

As I feel the morning.

Between the dream and the day

Cool air awakens my skin

Song birds touch my ears

Sweet warm tea on my lips

The smell of dew in the grass

Feeling morning.

A lover beside me

I notice a lover beside me.

In the crisp morning air.

In the bird songs.

In the sweetness of my earl grey.

In the lush greenery that surrounds me.

In the first morning light.

Next to me is a lover.

Inside me.

and I thought I was alone.

Ever Present.

The ever present sense of fear and doubt

Slipping into the shadows of love and gratitude

Awake in this moment

Only to be

Is plenty

Knowing all will be provided for

As all has


In all ways

Peace and trust


In the process of life

Oh the love

Oh the joy

Of simply being

Breath by breath.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back in Floyd VA

Back from California about three weeks plus and I’m sitting in the same chair I did way back when (the morning of Thanksgiving, sketchbook still open to the page). Quite the journey indeed, 10 days became 7 months, totally unexpected and I praise having the lifestyle that can change in such an instant. Well, awesome it was to sink into a major sculpture and be paid for it. Wow, during the project I was so on, loving every day starting at the gym working in the studio having deep connections of love and healing, I was on top of my game.

Then I finished the project..... Thought I was prepared for a slight dip but jeez did I go down. Realizing that I just built a 40,000 pound tombstone to honor the death of thousands of native peoples where genocide occurred during the gold rush and to the environment that is still dead from the white mans greed. This was all fine as it needed to be expressed, the piece has become a prayer wheel a healing circle and I am good even proud with all that. But down I went into self doubt, loneliness, grief, bewilderment, feeling for the Indian, feeling exposed I started smoking American spirit cigarettes and caught a habit. Forget the gym, work and the game I was on top of. The game all of a sudden seemed like a total farce and me just a player in something that meant nothing. Oh what self loathing I fell into. Managed to pull it together enough to throw myself a 50th birthday party a loving self act that manifested in so much realized love in return. Still in need of some deep healing it was time to return to the blue ridge mountains here in Floyd VA. Back in the woods, swimming in the fresh spring fed pond walking in the woods sometimes barefoot sometimes naked. Back into the nature that surrounds me, back into a primal place that touches my sole and reminds me as alone as I am in this world, I am alone with all. Got off the smokes got on the path of health, eating from the garden walking for miles doing my yoga, meditation, contemplation reading the good books and loving all the aspects this self I inhabit.

This path as an open sensitive man / artist has it's perks and it's valleys. I am grateful for the emotional width, I feel alive and I do feel solid and healthy enough to handle the ride on the swing set of my life. I have a place to channel it all, the physical presence of my sculpture can capture whatever it is that I am facing. Perhaps I am in deeper then I realize and I do feel I am in deep with some new self realizations that need time to be contemplated lived with bathed in and taken to heart. I love being back in my little paradise, so peaceful it is time in solitude and time in the studio. The creative muse has a hold on me, her energy of force is flowing. I have seven new sculptures in the works another couple right behind those and an inspiration that flows through me that energizes my body to do whatever it takes to work the work.

I am happy beyond my wildest dreams at times, alone at times I find a smile on my face. There are times I slip into "whats the point" and I know this as I have experienced the dark night of the soul, I know now I do not need nor want to know the point, it only brings me to suffer a question with no answer, I find peace in accepting the is is enough. So for now creating art takes me down a path that leads me to a my own bliss and brilliance and this is my gift both within and without. No real purpose or reason it just feels good and to the best of my knowledge I am not hurting anyone in the process.