Monday, January 17, 2011



For a man it’s a loaded word. He has been dealing with the idea all of his life. Most of the time the context is sex or fighting. We penetrate our opponent and we penetrate our mate. As simple as those two statements are we spend the majority of our lives tying to figure out how to be doing one or the other. Enormous amounts of energy focused on how best to conquer other men and as much energy focused on getting inside “our” women. We may seem like we have become peaceful loving caring men full of compassion, soft and safe, unchallenging and somewhat trusted by both men and women. But deep down in our balls a feeling wells up, a feeling so strong, so fertile and primal. It starts as an agitation, a questioning of our existence, a rumbling, a stirring, a force that anti feel drugs, obsessive sex, a new car and more stuff just wont quench. A fire is brewing inside that has to burn, it needs fuel as it is the life force of a man no longer able to fit within the cultural paradigm that smothers the flames of his life. He starts to feel this need, this desire, this primal urge to penetrate. But what? What is it that he is to enter that he can fill and be filled with? He has formed a trusted band of brothers by this time in his life and he speaks to them of this deep urge that must be acted on, he is a good man and dose not want to risk his job, his marriage his friendships or his life. In a quandary he searches his soul through quite time alone reading books by men that have pondered this in the past. In the quiet of his solitude and with support of his brothers he comes to terms and realizes the truth of a life of service. He comes to understand it is his nature to penetrate and to live full he must penetrate. He discovers his mission in life and he takes that mission as his strength his goal his purpose and he penetrates the world with it. He dose whatever it takes to live his mission of service, he discovers in this process allies begin to show up, synchronicity, coincidences and when challenges arise he is strong and sees them only as that and not to be defeated by them. A sense of energy runs through him, he’s excited to get up in the morning and he naturally takes good care of himself, sleeps soundly, eats organically and moves with vitality and purpose. He has penetrated his own life, he has penetrated through the veils of illusion, He can now penetrate with his warrior energy the injustices in the world hold men accountable for their actions, he penetrates the lies, deceit and inequalities. With compassion he understands the shadow and the immature unconscious pain that drives men to penetrate with organs and objects of destruction. He dose not let them off the hook with this compassion but holds them to the fire of accountability with love. He now can penetrate his woman, deeply and full, not only with his organ of primal desire and pleasure but with his love and fullness. He is present, open, vulnerable, a strong force of nature with out a need to control or dominate. He is filled with humor and lightness he laughs with his partner he cares about her and honors her deep feminine nature. The wisdom she carries he learns from, he is humbled by her strength and with deep respect he protects her gentle nature. As he grows old he grows ever wiser, he begins to discover a quiet peace that he can describe as nothing other then Zen. He is not afraid of his death, as he knows his life is rich and full. He ages with grace, knowing his body is nothing more than the beautiful vehicle used to travel through upon this earthwalk. He has taken the heroes journey through life and he is love realized.

photo: "Emergence" 2008 Riechmuth Park Sacramento CA.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Questions, No Questions.

Living the life as an artist. Rich indeed, the deed of creation, creating something out of nothing. Entering the studio on a daily basis with the excitement of what is going to happen today? What will come through these hands, this imagination, inspiration, divine or forced, allowed or willed, what’s it going to take today to bring creativity into being. These are the questions asked or not that always hang in the background. Yes it is so rich to be blessed with a life of purpose, a reason for getting up and getting out, a reason for being born and a reason to have lived. In my youth I thought art could save the world, now I see it as an act that saves myself from the slippery slope of mediocrity. I strive to create beauty for no other reason then for beauty’s sake, to make art that has a deeper meaning than can be known in the process as it is made from the place of no thought but many decisions. If it can touch another, spark a light in the shadow of existence then just perhaps it is all worthwhile. Some sense of trust permeates that knows what’s in the work, it’s universal as it is emotion skill and vision, yes my vision and my skill but emotion, I feel that belongs to the collective. Sadness, anger, fear and joy is embodied in the work, we all carry this within perhaps for different reason and perhaps for exactly the same but either way it is a link that binds us to the experience of life. At times I laugh when I work at times I have cried, I can tense up in fear and I can dance around the studio overflowing with Joy. My hope is that these works permeate with such emotion will touch the collective connection within us all and remind us of the humanity shared by our existence. We are all in these together, victims and the perpetrators, we all suffer, the lovers of life suffer death as love and loss is inevitable. This is not a bad thing to suffer this is the beauty of being this is the contrast that lets us know joy, this is what compassion and connection are born from.

Is art the nature of being human? Are the winds of creation the source of inspiration? Is there a silent howl beneath the breath that urges us on to create? Or is it just a way of giving importance to an artistic life? These are questions I’m trying not to ask, working to come to the place of no matter, the place that dose not analyze, just is and that is enough. Enough to walk in nature, service the body with food and shelter and to enter the studio with an open spirit, open to allow creation to flow unhampered with questions of reason.

Above is the Image of "Elders" a public sculpture created in a traffic circle in Grass Valley CA. A prayer wheel honoring those that suffered during the California gold rush and sending out the essence of love, joy, kindness, and forgiveness.